i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
