My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
