And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
