My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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