So gin and wine won't be happening again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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