Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize