You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i love accidental penises.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
