The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
