Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
