Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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