I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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