New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
