It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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