Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She bit a glass in half.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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