we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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