so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
