areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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