I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
