This girl is more easily done than said...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
