brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
