I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
