He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
