i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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