garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
God, I missed his penis.
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