Ketchup is God's man juice
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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