he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
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He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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