ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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