Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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