Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We don't watch enough power rangers
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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