I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
