I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
