so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
