i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
