i permit you to call me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
