Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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