I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.