Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.

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  (925): 2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/jq9y
  Replies (74) Good night (11803) Bad night (1302)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life

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  (604): omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life http://tfl.nu/up0q
  Replies (10) Good night (3244) Bad night (755)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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  (509): Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied. http://tfl.nu/w7qp
  Replies (17) Good night (882) Bad night (6032)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

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  (651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw
  Replies (47) Good night (8519) Bad night (807)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

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  (806): What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head??? http://tfl.nu/gwk9
  Replies (30) Good night (4639) Bad night (1518)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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  (518): You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops http://tfl.nu/ldeo
  Replies (19) Good night (12817) Bad night (990)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.

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  (706): He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories. http://tfl.nu/ce15
  Replies (15) Good night (2102) Bad night (525)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..

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  (203): I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground.. http://tfl.nu/w7v0
  Replies (2) Good night (1129) Bad night (545)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????

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  (708): I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY???? http://tfl.nu/05jz
  Replies (7) Good night (1377) Bad night (353)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This is why Helen Keller didn't drink

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  (902): This is why Helen Keller didn't drink http://tfl.nu/wpjw
  Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (500)
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  (559): View more from California

  His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY

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  (559): His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY http://tfl.nu/rsnd
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (396)
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  (530): View more from California

  Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.

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  (530): Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs. http://tfl.nu/m09k
  Replies (2) Good night (1483) Bad night (318)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything

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  (610): I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything http://tfl.nu/3wxq
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (422)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.

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  (778): Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded. http://tfl.nu/lwdx
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (194)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.

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  (316): If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple. http://tfl.nu/506q
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (204)

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