dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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