Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker." http://tfl.nu/s149
  Replies (75) Good night (1408) Bad night (5260)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there http://tfl.nu/bxrn
  Replies (6) Good night (5237) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night http://tfl.nu/ia2t
  Replies (4) Good night (3005) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f
  Replies (7) Good night (6247) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs http://tfl.nu/bzfk
  Replies (3) Good night (2363) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/jkpl
  Replies (5) Good night (1880) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises. http://tfl.nu/ig53
  Replies (18) Good night (844) Bad night (3117)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat http://tfl.nu/tmda
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy! http://tfl.nu/gv3p
  Replies (10) Good night (1311) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party http://tfl.nu/crsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1905) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though. http://tfl.nu/tou6
  Replies (11) Good night (1879) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now. http://tfl.nu/qdkd
  Replies (20) Good night (1252) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it http://tfl.nu/9eeg
  Replies (0) Good night (728) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back. http://tfl.nu/53qo
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time. http://tfl.nu/arik
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (200)

Randomize