Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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  (408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a
  Replies (120) Good night (4462) Bad night (35905)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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  (502): I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later. http://tfl.nu/r27t
  Replies (24) Good night (3999) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude

  (650): View more from California

  So your saying just a blow job?

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  (347): Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude (650): So your saying just a blow job? http://tfl.nu/cev0
  Replies (6) Good night (827) Bad night (3244)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"

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  (954): I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies" http://tfl.nu/cnee
  Replies (16) Good night (4947) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.

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  (518): They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke. http://tfl.nu/jbb2
  Replies (41) Good night (1960) Bad night (3503)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...

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  (315): My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships... http://tfl.nu/1r9u
  Replies (43) Good night (3169) Bad night (6674)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.

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  (208): Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly. http://tfl.nu/sulv
  Replies (20) Good night (6267) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.

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  (610): He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember. http://tfl.nu/2y89
  Replies (6) Good night (1912) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.

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  (617): She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI. http://tfl.nu/ewv2
  Replies (6) Good night (1623) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.

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  (519): All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am. http://tfl.nu/roar
  Replies (13) Good night (1945) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm

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  (314): Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm http://tfl.nu/9ca7
  Replies (9) Good night (466) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.

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  (757): and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm. http://tfl.nu/2rbo
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh

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  (914): His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh http://tfl.nu/ih42
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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  (905): He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs http://tfl.nu/gppx
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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  (307): Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged. http://tfl.nu/ec83
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (168)

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