I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics