i'm home, then i'll come over
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.