He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
