my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
