at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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