things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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