Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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