porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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