You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
