"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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