the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
