The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Holy shit dude........stairs
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