how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
