Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
