She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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