So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
