i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
cat food counts as protein by the way
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
