Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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