Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
