How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
