I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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