my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
