I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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