So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY