covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.