im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize