Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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  (707): im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt. http://tfl.nu/7lkv
  Replies (25) Good night (850) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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  (978): I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b. http://tfl.nu/o2b7
  Replies (33) Good night (2323) Bad night (1379) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER

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  (508): WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER http://tfl.nu/4rej
  Replies (12) Good night (582) Bad night (4290) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals

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  (517): new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals http://tfl.nu/6pha
  Replies (61) Good night (5391) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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  (704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z
  Replies (35) Good night (426) Bad night (4712)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

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  (407): I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks.. http://tfl.nu/av5i
  Replies (13) Good night (850) Bad night (4013) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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  (718): We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate. http://tfl.nu/1mwi
  Replies (14) Good night (1110) Bad night (4493) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?

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  (832): I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right? http://tfl.nu/xt5v
  Replies (38) Good night (5053) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.

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  (703): I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them. http://tfl.nu/kulz
  Replies (24) Good night (816) Bad night (3592) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I need you to use more vowels.

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  (812): gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar (219): I need you to use more vowels. http://tfl.nu/cjfw
  Replies (15) Good night (8035) Bad night (856)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...

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  (903): I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth... http://tfl.nu/u93t
  Replies (7) Good night (2334) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

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  (214): It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils. http://tfl.nu/mamt
  Replies (5) Good night (1510) Bad night (631)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.

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  (484): deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board. http://tfl.nu/f3ak
  Replies (6) Good night (2038) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...

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  (508): I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ... http://tfl.nu/q441
  Replies (5) Good night (558) Bad night (1821) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now

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  (219): I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now http://tfl.nu/0dlv
  Replies (5) Good night (775) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt

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