If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.