He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
