He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
