two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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