My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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