we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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